Friday, 24 April 2020

What I Felt Right Now...

I don't know where to start and how to write. It's not that easy to just let it all out like this.I wish I could say something knowing fully that she did her best to be with me and yet I wasn't being understanding to her. I don't know why I suddenly feel it's not enough when the truth it's enough. She must be stressing herself out by being with me and thinking of me. I'm a burden to her, I wish she would say something to me because I would never know what's on her mind. 

The reason why I feel lonely it's because of our conversation got shorter and our chat hasn't been the same.I may be overthinking about it, I just can feel it. Maybe it's my own imagination and that's why I feel lonely for the past few days. I admit it that I'm an attention seeker, I'm sorry but I never felt being loved so dearly by my own partner. And maybe that's why I feel so lonely.

She never once said anything about me being a burden to her instead I was the only one who said it sometimes. She never once told me she's tired of me, she's always straight forward with me no matter what. Even it might hurt me she still said what she think is right to her. That's one of my reason why I love her so much. She may a year order than me but she is amazing girl. 

The loneliness that I felt inside of me is something I should be stopping from especially being overthinking. It is not good for my health or my relationship with my partner. I don't want to ruin anything because I love her and I cherish her with my wholeheartedly. My loneliness isn't that serious because I can still be happy with my girl without even thinking about my problems.

However she might not like it if she knows that I've been having this kind of situation. She might get mad or nag at me for being too selfish and overthinking about this kind of situation. I'm sorry for being a pain in the ass, I know you would go angry at me for being careless again. It feels like I didn't trust you at all knowing how I feel right now. I'm sorry my love for being childish and sorry for doubting you. I'm scare that you would slowly feel bored and tired when you're with me. So yeah I'm sorry my baby. 


Secret Love

It was a busy Monday. Everyone in Dream-Joy Company were so busy that they didn’t even notice a red sport car stop in front of the building entrance. The guards did noticed though, so one of the guards were walking towards the car to tell whoever the driver is to move the car. But before they can even get close, a beautiful yet serious woman get out from the car. 

Not just that. But her appearance was enough to tell everyone that she is someone important people. She wore a mini black skirt with a matching top to go on with the skirt. The sound of her heels clinging against the floor as she walk towards the entrance of the building. She glance back at the car and signaling her friend a thanks for the ride. Her friend just rolled his eyes to see how diva his friend can be. “Good luck girl! Call me when it’s done” winking at his friend before drove away from the place.

As soon she walks into the big building. Everyone stop doing what they were doing just to stare at her. They finally notice her existence, but nevertheless she didn’t even bother to stop and looked at them instead she walks straight to the information counter.

“I am here to see your big boss” said the beautiful woman even showing her card or more like a VIP passes. The man take a good look at the passes before nodding his head and the he pointed the way “Ms. Hailey is in 8th floor”

The woman thanked him before walking towards the elevator. Everyone still keep staring at her like she is a goddess. As soon the elevator door opens, the beautiful woman get inside and then finally she notice the stares. She gives her infamous eyebrow before shaking her head and push the button to the 8th floor. “Ugh! Every fucking time. I am going to kill that woman when I see her later!” Mumbles the beautiful woman in her most annoying voice.

Ding. She finally reach the 8th floor. The elevator door opens and she quickly gets out. She even held her head high and with her style of walking, no one would dare to come and talk to her. Her serious facial expresion even told that she doesn’t want to be bother. “Excuse me but please tell your boss her aqcuintance is here to see her” the PA looked up at her and nodded without a single word coming out from her mouth.

“Hello Ms. Hailey, I am sorry to bother you but your aqcuintance is here to see you” said the PA on the phone. “Alright Ms. Hailey”  She then put down the phone and stood up “please come this way, Ms-“ “Its Mrs. Hazel” They both walked silently towards Ms. Hailey office. The PA knocked the door before opening the door and walks in followed by the beautiful woman that we know now her name is Hazel.

“Thank you” Hazel said towards the PA before she walks outside the office to go back to her work while leaving her boss and her aqcuintance to talk. “It’s weird to hear people call you Ms when you should be Mrs” those were the first words come out from Hazel’s mouth as soon the PA left them alone. More like she spatted the words with sarcastic.

“You should know by now that I do this to keep our marriage a secret. You even agree about those idea. So why do you want to get angry” said Hailey calmly towards her wife as she takes off her glasses and put on her desk. She knows how they both agree to keep the marriage a secret. The only people that knows their relationship are their closes family and friends. Other than those people, it will going to remand a secret. 

“But I thought you would be telling your PA by now knowing she will soon finds out about us Hailey. And beside, you know I could never trust that PA of yours Hailey” Argue Hazel back while folding her arms in front of her chest. Hailey looked at Hazel like she is some crazy person but she still loves her wife even how crazy Hazel can be. “I am sure by now she will know after you giving her the cold stare” sighing Hailey as she leans back and looking at her wife amusedly.

Hazel rolled her eyes before unfolding her arms and sighing defeatly “it’s not my fault for being possesive of whats mine” Haiely let out a small chuckles before she stands up and went around her desk to stand in front of her wife. “I always love you. And beside I did marry you right” explained Hailey with the most sweetest and loving way she possible could do.

Both of them stares at each other with adoring in their eyes. And before they know it. They both leans towards each other and giving the most loving kiss they could ever share. Hailey will always assuring her wife nothing to worried about. While Hazel being herself always feeling insecure about it. Both of them are each other soulmate. No one could even seperated them. Their loves are stronger.

They break the kisses to get some air and Hailey looked at her wife before kissing her forehead and said “I love you” Hazel blushes at how romantic her wife can be. Sometime she wonders how did she get so lucky to have such an adoring, loving, kind and most of all understanding wife ever. She still can’t even believe it.

“So now tell me, is everything okay? It is rare for you to come to my office without calling me first” asked Hailey as she sits at the end of her desk while holding her wife close to her. She could never get tired to feel her wife in her arms plus it is a bonus for her knowing it can realse her stressness because of her work. So yeah it’s a win-win for both of them.

“Yeah everything’s okay” answers Hazel a little bit nervous though, scared how her wife will take the news that she will going to tell. “You sure?” Asked Hailey while arching her eyebrows. 

“Yes babe everything fine. It just I have some good news for you and I don’t know how to say it” Hailey nodded her head slowly without saying anything. So that means, she giving Hazel the time to tell her without hurry. “You remember right how you promised we could start a family as soon as possible and how we even take 3 times to get pregnant but its all failed...So today I went to the doctor seeing how I didn’t even get my period for almost 1 and a half, and guess what?” Haiely slowly asked carefully “you’re pregnant?”

Hazel nodded her head excitedly “yes! The doctor said I am already 2 weeks pregnant.” 

Without any warning, Hailey quickly hugs her wife while happy tears started to come out from her eyes. She is now finally the most happiest woman in the world. She looked at her wife and kissed her with so much passion and they break the kiss “I love you! I love you so much! This is the most happiest day of my life! Thank you baby, you’re the best wife ever!” Said Hailey excitedly while her looking at her wife with so much love.

She then slowly turns her eyes towards her wife stomach. She kneel down and gently kissed her wife stomach. She even whispers “I love you” to the unnoticable bump. 

After hearing the most happy news, Hailey quickly calls her PA telling her that to cancel all of her meeting and appointments for the whole week and even telling her that she is taking off from work as well. The PA didn’t asked much but agree with her boss. Then, Hailey looked at her wife and said with a playful smirk showing on her face “let’s go home and celebrate like how we always do” Hazel could only laughs at how funny her wife can be but agrees anyway seeing how turn on she is and even miss her wife touches as well. 

“Whatever you want. I am yours and you are mine. Soon we both will become mothers to a very healthy beautiful baby girl or boy” said Hazel in the most adoring voice while caressing her wife cheek. Hailey leans more into Hazel’s touch before kissing her wife hand. And so they both left the office and the company at the other way that only Hailey knows. Sooner or later everyone will know about Hazel and Hailey relationship. Either way, they both will always stay together forever. 

You guys ever wonder how amazing being in love with the same person for the rest of your life? Well that is how those two feel right now. But much happier after knowing there will be a new edition in their family. Wish real life could have those happily ever after ending. So everyone can be happy with their own significant one. Not everyone can have those happy ever after ending life. Because all relationship have their ups and downs but the one who fights hard will have their own happily ever after ending. 


Thursday, 23 April 2020

The Memory

Hello everyone it's been awhile for me to post a new blog. So today I decided to write about my journey with my ex. How she hurt me and decieved me. She fooled me not once but twice. She had me from the start. I was too stupid for not seeing how she played me like a basketball. Everyone told me I should move on and find a new love but I didn't listened instead I still stay and defense her that she isn't like that kind of a person.

One day something happen, she suddenly vanish without a word.I thought it was my fault but sadly she actually running away from me. She left me.She's gone. No trace at all.Not a single call or text from her. I was devastated.I was depress knowing she suddenly left. I thought I gave her what she wants, she would stay and be happy with me. I was wrong, I was played real well. 

Three months without hearing from her.I started to move on and be happy. I thought if she could last me with no explanation then I would just go on with my life and no more saddness. Then all of sudden, you called me using your mom's phone.I was shook and the pain that I thought was long gone came back. 

You told me why you suddenly vanish from my life without explanation. I was quiet the all time. I was speechless, blank and hurt. Just hearing your voice brings back all the pain you put me through. 

The phone call was actually invitation to your wedding that would be in a month. And that's when I realize that you only come into my life just to get rid of your boredom.Well I did went to see your wedding and it was painful. I told myself that she's not for me and she's not good for my health. And so I move on even how badly she treated me, forever I would remember. I may forgive her but my hatred towards her would forever be there.

My world crashes and my heart scarred. On that day, I decided just move on and find someone else.I want to create another new beginning with someone who truly loves me and see my effort without taking granted. When I do find that person, I would treat her way better than I treated my ex and she will loves me and help me without thinking twice. She will also treat me the same way as I did. That's a relationship goals.

Memory will always be there no matter what, so be thankful and start a new chapter of your life. Never regret instead be thankful that you have learned a new things about life, love, pain, sad and mostly happiness. Lessoned to learned. That's memory for you. Smile and keep going with your life.