Flashback

As I remember back to the time when we're together, I felt like the rocks fell down on me. Snapping me to sees the truth of what you meant to me. I was stupid for not doing better to you, I was the one who made you cried and hurt you. I never seen it but my friends made me realize after you found someone new. Lying on my bed, looking at the ceiling and flashing back to the time when we said it is over. "I am sorry, I was wrong" the words that I kept on saying but it would not worth because you are no longer here. Can a day I stop thinking about you? Can I work it out the mistake I made? Will there be another day for making up with you? I wish everything be answered. I kneel down in regrets to see how you being with someone else. Left me hanging on my life to know you are happy. "Bii! Let's go!" I snap from my own thoughts and wipes the tears inside my eyes before closing the memory box of You and I. "Be there in a minute!" I shout back before putting back the box to its place. Glanced back once again at the box before walk away from my room. "Goodbye my past, I will never forget about you. Never will be." End of flashback...

Everything

The word has been spoken The day has come Where we all have to do One thing in our life. You think that each of us know What is like to have a good life When all of us just live and have fun But never think about the real matter. In this world people do forget That they only live for awhile They just borrowing this earth And then give it back when the times come. Let's face it We're not perfect Life never fairs Many lies among us. Everything we do We do it for our own self We're being the selfish person And always think about ourselves. So think twice See the real facts of life Where is the true Thinking wisely and reasonable. Don't disappointed In what you do Because you choose that path Do not blame the others. Everything will never be perfect Like we wish or wanted So face it And be happy for now.

Correct Me!

You can have a day all you want But it surely different from this Make me see the truth Behind those words of yours... There are nothing I can do All I want is the truth and honesty Can you do it? Or you scare to let me know? Come and tell me Don't hide the truth Be strong and face the facts... Correct me I know what I am wrong I need the truth So give it or die for it Correct me When I made a huge mistake But don't correct me When you do not know the real thing So what are you waiting for? Correct me now It is now or never Before things end now...!

Random #14 (What I want!)

Just a day where I can not wait to be the one to tell you how much you meant to me... I am just an ordinary girl with nothing special. I am who I am but I feel unsatisfied with one thing....

I want someone that undertand me more than my friends and family.., I want that person undertand where I come from and accept my family like how they accept me...

Love and me are never friends from the start... It is hard to find the right one even if I already found it still it won't be the one...

Been there and done that. Ask me anything about relationship with girls or boys... All I already know how it feel when I dated them...

Truly I am a girl who obeys to her family rules... I am a girl who doesn't like party, drinking, smoking and tattoo...

I am girl who just want to find someone that accept me as I am not for someone I am not....

P/s: suddenly came up in my mind while I feel so boring and listen to music... Around 23:58 before midnight hehe... Sucks to be me -:) can't sleep early always sleep late maybe around 1 or 2 or maybe 3 a.m... If school night I'll be sleeping around 12 or 1a.m...

Guess my life sucks still teenager but already have many stress... Love it or not gotta be live it while I still alive ;-)

CHANGING! (True Story)

I have a huge secret that I'm scare that one day my family will found out the truth about my secret... It wasn't my intention to be like this... It wasn't part of my plan too...

8 years I kept the secret without their knowing it the truth... I never want them to know for whom I really am... I know they will hate me and shout at me for being a...a lesbian....

I'm just a kid when I had my first crush and it was weird because howI like it... I've been hate since I come out to the school and thank god they didn't tell my parents about my sexuality....

My friends accept me for whom I am and said they will always be my friends... Even half of them disgusted at me but they still talks to me until end of my high school years...

Everyone at school knew me for whom I am... But that didn't change a thing at first... I dated few girls but end up broken heart... Hahaha....

I was unlucky with loves but I never gave up on waiting for the right one... My friends told me to stop being a lesbian and become straight as a ruler... I did tried once but failed when I was 16... Hahaha!

Now I'm already 17... I manage through the year of my last high school... I finally change and thanks to my friends who supported me from behind... I know they didn't show any sign of that they care but I had a feeling they just do... It makes me happy enough to try harder than before...

Here I am taking step by step to the changes... I finally to likes guys but had a slight feelings toward girl but I push it away and be stronger...

Until now my parents doesn't know my secret and I love to keep it that way even it's hard and how they talk about gay/lesbian it still stings inside me... But I never get offense easily because I'm used to hearing how they hate les/gay.... Hahaha!!!

I'm not a homophobic or hypocrite... But I talk truthfully and honesty... Straight to the point is what I am... But I do choose the words carefully incase someone get offended...

Changing is harder than I ever thought it should be... Well I guess it's my punishment for being whom I'm not... This secret forever remain silent without anyone knows especially my family... Let it be like this forever until I'm old and ready enough to tell the truth...

Let the change take over and old me will be forever lock until it's time to come out... Changes are my only mission now! No doubt!

This is how I change from being 'L' for almost 8 years and change into straight! Thanks to everyone helping me out especially my friends Faz, Aud, Cassy, Sher, Mitch, Pres, Onie, Atin, and so many more who stay by my side until now!  Thank You!