Random #6 (I Miss You)

I'm still sick, it's already near 2 weeks I've been sick and so do my family... Well that doesn't stop me from making new post here since I haven't done 2-3 days ago... It because something come up and it was an urgent...

Let see, I do some stuff but my cough still getting worst than I ever expecting... Okay now I'm a little bit lonely and sad, because I miss someone so badly and maybe cry while thinking of her...

She's my everything but she just went away and leave me all sick, what the hell?! I thought you promise to be here with me, but guess what your work comes first... I'm not angry or what so ever, I just want you to at least care about me...

Maybe call or text or email me, just don't leave me like this... It's hurt when you just go without saying goodbye or something... I know your work is more important in your life, I respect that... but at least try to tell me that you're doing fine...

But if you already move on with your life, found someone to replace me... I don't mind at all, just tell me if you want to break up... Don't make me wait for you for 5-10 years when you actually already with someone else... Don't give me hopes when I know that it won't have!

Don't make me wait for you or love you, when you with other person... Tell me now or I won't have to feel the pain when we met again, someday... I miss you, please don't let me wait for you too long... Because I'm not your pet or your slave, just try to have a time to tell me...

Random #5 (It's Better This Way)

There's a reason behind those cold eyes of yours
I wonder if you understand me now
I really wish we could try to talk
Or maybe know what we want...

Tell you what
I can make you be who you are
So you won't have to fake yourself
That's what your dream right?

I know exactly who you are
Because we've been together for too long
I like how you become so sweet and kind
But I also like when you try your best for change...

Please I know I make mistakes
I know I wasn't a good girlfriend to you
But I know in your deepest heart
You still love me...

We've been together for a long time
But something change for a reason
I wish it was just for a moment
It would be better if we be honest with each other...

I hate to lie to you
I hate to change for who I am
I hate to let you see my true side
But that doesn't change a thing...

You love me
I love you
We're meant to be together
But faith is not with us that time...

I'm sorry that it turns out this way
I'm sorry for hurting you
I'm sorry for being jealous
I'm sorry for everything I did to you...

Just so you know
I do change for a reason
Maybe not for you or someone else
Maybe I do it for a reason...

Random #4 (Sick & Mumble)

I don't have a life, because all I do is doing something or writing something on this blogs of mine.. Maybe because, I am very lonely person who doesn't have any friends or things to do...

Nah, not really... It just that I'm kind a sick, having this stupid flu, fever plus dry throats... Well, basically I will get a fever or more dry throat once a month... That's not cool, anyway I don't want to write since I'm all sick... Not just me, but bros and sis also sick, same as me though...

Feeling sick can be trouble, because I don't have any appetite to eat what my dad's cooked or anything... But sometimes, I kind a like it so I can lost 2-3 kilos... Haha! Diet by the cold is awesome, but a little bit dangerous too....

Let's imagine if you suddenly meet a famous person, what would you? Well, if I meet with a famous person... I think I would be like "wow, is this a dream or what! I can't believe I finally get to see you, I love you and your sing plus acting" haha!...

Yeah, that's me alright feeling to goofy and clumsy in front of the famous person... Probably faint too, haha! Kidding, no way I'm going to faint even if I see JB or One Direction... Haha!

Maybe the fans will makes me faints, because how they gets excited and they will surely push me until I fall down.... I can imagine I've been push and then step on... *creepy* Seriously, if I want to meet someone, I would choose Miranda Cosgrove or Victoria Justice...

Because, I've been admired or maybe love them when I saw them in TV haha!.... The first time I saw Miranda, when she's acting in one of the movie called "School of Rock" I watched that show when I was 7 or 8, I barely remember my age...

As for Victoria Justice, hmm I first saw her when she's acting in "Zoey 101" yeah, that's it... haha! I told you I'm a loner and boring too, but I still keep trying my best to act I'm not...

Seriously, this sick makes me saying/writing something weird.... I don't know why, but I like to mumbling something so that my head won't hurts a lot than yesterday... Too much thinking, makes me feel dizzy... So yeah, this my other random thing to talk about! Peace out!

Random #3 (My Ex)

I was thinking that what should I tell, well since I already gives away my profile to you... Hmm, let's just said I tell you about my love life then; My All Ex.

I have crushes many girls and boys, so that's mean I'm bisexual. I don't know why I become like this, but most confusing is that my first crush is with a girl... Imagine that, me liking girls was kind a not to shock but if it's guys; yeah it will be a shock to my friends and other friends... Haha!

Anyway, I first fell in love when I was 9 years old... Wow, what a young age to fall in love with.... Follow by the next year, I crush on one of my friends... That's awkward and weird, it's feel you like your own sister *shivered*..... Not gonna happen, in my life dating someone who I thought one of my sister or brother or cousins!...

I start have my own girlfriend when I was 11 years, I know her from my friend. We were actually follows dancing, well since I don't do dance so why not try for once in my life... Haha!... Anyway she introduce me to her friend, so yeah that's when I first fell in love, people call it; First Sight Love....

We date for nearly a year, oh wait it is a year... Because we breaks up, when our one year anniversary; sad isn't it? It because of jealous, plus we even fight near the end of the year... So yeah, it's kind a sad too...

I did apologies, we did get back together but then finally break up after she making me so jealous... Well, the truth I'm not the type of jealous person... But maybe I really love her, so yeah that's why I'm being protective....

After that, when I went to high school I find someone else; only last for 2 weeks.... Haha! That's what I call, world record!... Since then, I'm not myself because I'm becoming bad person and player too... But sometime I didn't see that, the ladies played my heart... Poor right? Well I did deserved it...

Last year (2011) I date my own best friend, didn't see that coming.... At first I date her for a reason, maybe because I break her up with her girlfriend because my other best friend likes her girlfriend... See told you guys, I'm bad ass girl!!

But after two days being with her, I become more serious and wanted it too be last long... But after 2 weeks of dating, she finally asked for a break up... Wow, that's hurt since I already develop a feeling towards her.... I was mad and then just agree with it, since I can't do anything she's like a challenge type of girl... Man I like that kind of girl haha! Kidding...

But I take my revenge by kissing her when she was sleep, well my school had a program for the examination students.... We did went to a hotel, one room has 4 students, thank god my room mates are all I'm okay with... Haha! I have many enemies and people who hates me a lot...

It was a mistake of me, so the near exam I told her about it and she was mad and didn't talk to me until this year.... She talks to me, near February.... So yeah, I learn from mistakes and now I change.... I want to be loved and love, because I wonder how it feel to be last longer than 2 weeks and a year?

So that's how my loves life with my ex, I had many ex but I didn't care because I only count the ex that I truly love, instead not serious haha!... Oh wait, I nearly forgot that I also date my junior this year... She's 13 years old, so yeah I'm a senior alright...

She's cute, adorable and kind a like me a little bit, weird but cute haha!... This is not than 2 weeks instead only 1 week, imagine that haha! Maybe it because she was scared of being caught by the teachers (all teachers never know if I'm dating at the school, since I'm like a good girl plus I only have a problem of fighting with the seniors and friends... Besides the teachers only know I like girl but never date one, haha! I'm so awesome)

Yeah, that's what happen... Wait did I mention that I cried when she and my other ex breaks up with me... Not all of them, but only that I'm onto... I still love my own best friend but she already found someone, that is a guy...

She really a complicated girl, but beautiful too... Only her and my ex that long for a year I cried until now and regret for what have I done to them, I wish I could turn back the time.... Haha! But that's not going to happen, really sad...

Thank god that she and I are still best friend, thank god whenever we talks about the past, we just like "I'm so embarrass by it, don't talk about it!" haha!... We're so good but my heart still feel hurt, my other best friends know that I still like her but I just keep saying "I don't like her or love her!"

If boyfriend, yeah I do have but only 7- oh wait, I mean 8... Since I just breaks up the last one, other month ago because he's kind a dirty guy... i don't like negative guy who only come for the body, I only like kind, care, loving, good looking, positive mind and clean mind too... Let's just said that one day there will be that guy who loves me for who I am, since I'm a tomboy and bisexual too.... *Hoping* *Single* *Smirking* See Ya, Don't Wanna Be Ya! Haha! *wink*

Random #2 (I Love You & Why)

The dayI went to see you was the day I found out you were having a conversation with someone I pratically knew. I couldn't even believe what I heard that day, but why?

 

You told me you love me, but when I see you with him you were crying saying "I can't lie anymore to her, it's killing me for lying when she truly love me!"

 

Seriosuly, if you wanted to break up so badly why don't you just come to me and say it so! I will surely understand and besides, I'm not that kind of person who doesn't get the break up things.

 

So, yesterday I went to your house to talk about it but your parents said you were out with some friends. But in their eyes I can tell that they're lying and sad too; I don't want to know why.

 

Then, a sudden feeling inside me saying something that I don't know what it is. So I turn back to your house, without knocking at the door I just burst in and saw you were crying yet hugging my one and only friend; Danny.

 

I wasn't shock since I saw you with him the other day, I look at you and him while sighing. Then your parents came inside the room, looking shock while trying to calm me down.

 

But all I said "you guys don't have to say anything, I know what's going on. I finally get it your daughter want to break up, so yeah I'm cool with it."

 

But then you try to stop me from going and saying "it wasn't what you think! I love you and I don't mean to lie to you, but there's a reason why Danny is here. Please, trust me."

I glance at you and said befor walking away, leaving you crying on the floor while your parents try to stop me too and Danny try to catch me. "I hope you be happy with him."

 

The tears in my eyes flowing down on my face, suddenly Danny grab my wrist and spun me around saying "it's not what you think it was!"

 

I just replied while cluched my hands trying not to hit him "then what!? You were hugging her and then comforting her, I saw you and her the other day and she was crying saying that she can't lied anymore to me. If it wasn't being with you, then what?!"

 

Danny just bit his on lips, he was hiding something and I don't know what it is. He then take a deep breath and said "It's not my position to tell you this, but I can't hide it from you anymore because you're my friend. The other day, what you heard or saw was that she tells me that she's can't live longer, because she got herself a brain cancer."

 

My eyes were wide, I look at him carefully and to see if he was lying or not. But all I can see is that, he was telling the truth. I felt on my knee and said "what have I done?"

 

Danny try to get me up on my knee and said "today she will be going into surgery, I think if we  go now, we still can make it."

 

I just nodded my head and follow him inside his car, he drives so fast as he could to reach the hospital. We did make it on time, we run inside and went straight to where you are;

 

But when we got there, we saw your mom was crying and your dad trying to comfort your mom. That's when I knew, you didn't make it and I didn't get to tell you for the last time; I Love You.

 

I can't live in this world anymore, when you're not here with me. But why don't you tell me about your condition from the start, if you did I will be the one trying to comfort you and be with you the whole day until your surgery.

 

But you didn't, you went called Danny instead of your own girlfriend. I can only pray and hopes that one day I get to see you, even if it takes a thousand years from now on.

 

I love you, will always loving you. Next time, if something happen like this again in my life. I will surely asked; why?

Random (Best Friends)

I have many kinds of friends in school, outside school, internet and so on. But no one can replace my best friends, because they're like a family to me and sometimes I wonder why? Let see, first they're open minded, friendly, great advicer, the joker, crazy and so many that I can't describe them.

Outside school's friends are not that I mind but they're just not the same as my best friends, internet friends are way not best friends since we don't know who we're dealing with. But half of them are friendly and great to be with, funny too but they're just not the same.

Secondly, they're 4 of them, so each of them I met different year. The first one I met when I was 7 years old, we kind a have the same class since then we're been together until now. Second, I met when I was 9 years old, so yeah she's kind a like me a tomboy haha!

Thrid and Fourth, I met them when I was 13 years old, so it's kind a the first day of school wait- it's more like a first week of school. They really are the best of friends I ever met, but sometime they can be annoying and their words can hurt my feelings too.

We're fight sometime, then make up. The fight we ever had was more than a month, so that was the uncool day of my life. Haha! fighting with them is not worth it, because they too hard to be mad at or fight for.

Let say that in the group, the one who always make a jokes is definitely Davilla aka Daph; she's really the great joker in the group, plus she always helps other people if anything troubling them.

Deidre Jane aka DJ, she's more into other things. she's doesn't like to fight or do bad things, but if someone makes her angry, she will surely not the quite DJ we know Haha!

Rozalya aka Roz is more like a motherly style, she always try to gives us an advice if its not good or good. she'll be the one who makes us like 'yeah we know' or 'yes ma, we're know' haha! nah just kidding, but she is the protective friend in our group and crazy too.

Last one is Audrey aka Aud, she's the quite and doesn't like to fight but when she hates that person she will say something about her or maybe she will keep it inside her and when she ever had the opportunity, she will said counter back by saying all the things she kept inside her. So beware for this girl, not just her but all of the above too.

So that's all, anyway they all like drawing,music, singing, dancing and even imagine if they had a big house that will be our house. So that's mean, they wanted to always stay together and never lost contact. But, I'll be the first one to say that I will lost contact with them; not now, but someday...

So Daph, DJ,Roz & Aud I'm sorry if we ever lost contact but I just wanted to say that you guys will always be my best friends forever and ever. Like we all promise, never forget one another and stick together if anything happen always keep in touch! Good Luck!

From your selfish, crazy and cool best friend
A.Y aka LadyKillerz16 :{)

VJ's Song -Freak The Freak Out-

I am so in love with this song!!!! Plus I'm also in love with her!!!
I wish I could meet her face to face, because that's all I wanted since like forever!!! Crazy right? Well, that just me always crazy for everything that I fall for.... Besides I live in Malaysia, so I don't have any chance to see her but I still can watch her movies, tv show and hearing her cool song with her cast friends!!! XD

I Love VICTORIA JUSTICE & VICTORIOUS CAST!!!! Peace out! ^^v

My Something??? Weird =.= :)

Basically I asks many kinds of people about something, but they always gives me different answer. Well, I kind wish it was something more mature or immature. Because it's kind a cool to know and met a persons who likes goofy around, clumsy, sweet and etc...

People who can understand me are the people who knows me for who I am and even if they just met me for the first time, they know exactly what kind of person I am. So it's nothing to be ashamed of me, because I am more into funs stuff. 

Mostly, my best friends think I'm too serious of myself (only if its my future) well sometimes I can be too protective, especially if my best friends kind date someone who I don't trust with; I'm more motherly to them... Maybe not motherly but sisterly haha! Kidding...

I'm a person who loves guys thing, especially jackets and shoes!!! I'm so obsessed with shoes and jackets, and don't forget boots!! 

Things I like, hmm... I can't describe anything that I like, because mostly if I see things are awesome and cool... I maybe buy it... I just like random things, even if it's old fashion way haha!!


Things I hate... well there's so much things I hate, but I maybe name a few of them... so let see, I hate the colour of PINK, cigarette, alcohol, bullies, and etc... I can't remember because too many in my head haha!! 


Animals that I love definitely cats or kittens!! I have 5 cats, and their name is Goldy, Dusty, Milky Tea, Neiji and Jen-Jen.. weird names that my family and I gave... I also love lion, tiger, eagle or hawk, fox and etc... wow, I don't know that I loves dangerous animals, cool!


Animals that I hate, hmm... cockroach (everyone hate this thing) warm, spider, beetle, lizard (yucks!) elephant (allergic) and etc... Even I'm tomboy, I'm still don't like this kind of animals. Not because I'm scared, I just feel disgust at them...

Hmm, what more need to describe... well my best friends always asked me what type of guy I like.. see, I like a guy who is honest, kind, lovable, caring, funny, not too serious, romantic (well not too romantic) cool, the hair must be cool (like Taylor Lautner or Abraham Mateo) and most of all, he must be strong in Islam religion, never forget to pray, clean mind and positive mind... well, let just say he's not too perfect but must be Muslim.


Well, that's all for today I think.... The next time I sign in, I will surely make a story or poems or maybe random things I write... So keep that in mind, cause I'm just a teenager who doesn't have any life, because my life is boring!!! Seriously, I'm boring but I'm also friendly, talkative of different stuff, love to smile, goofying around and most of all I love making stupid stuff so that I can make people smiles :) That's all for now, see ya and don't wanna be ya :P